It seems like in 2012 my blog is going to be all about struggling to get sole custody of my kids and arguments with my ex-husband. Sorry for that, but I need a place to vent.
The kids have had no contact with their “father” since Gillian’s contact with him on Facebook nine days ago. I did try calling him yesterday only to find his number has been “changed or disconnected” (according to the Verizon recording). So now we do not have a number for him. The kids never want to call him, but if they did they wouldn’t be able to.
Strike one for him considering our agreement reads: “Each parent has a continuing responsibility to provide a residential, mailing or contact address and contact telephone number to the other parent.”
Then just because I like strikes against him, there is also this: “Immediately upon employment the obligor shall report to the obligee, in writing, details of employment, including name and address of employer, the starting date, number of weekly hours and the rate of pay.” Something he has never done, I only knew he was working because a friend told me. I have no idea how much he makes or the hours he works.
Anyway…
I got a notice in the mail from the court saying my motion to waive court fees was denied and if I want to move forward with my case I have to pay the fees. My husband was an E3 and was promoted to an E4 in May 2011, I have no reliable income and we are a family of five. We cannot currently afford the filing fees. I can’t understand why my motion to waive was denied. We’re BROKE! If my ex was paying child support we could afford it, but he’s not.
So for now, we wait. Biding our time. I am a patient person, I can wait six months.
There’s this:
170-C:5 Grounds for Termination of the Parent-Child Relationship. – The petition may be granted where the court finds that one or more of the following conditions exist:
I. The parent has abandoned the child. It shall be presumed that the parent intends to abandon the child who has been left by his parent without provision for his identification or who has been left by his parent in the care and custody of another without any provision for his support, or without communication from such parent for a period of 6 months. If in the opinion of the court the evidence indicates that such parent has made only minimal efforts to support or communicate with the child, the court may declare the child to be abandoned.
So I can wait. I am a patient person… June will be here before I know it.
Bryan and I have been seriously looking into adoption. Stepparent adoption. JAG will only help us if the biological father consents. For the heck of it I sent the bio-dad a message on Facebook yesterday asking if he would voluntarily surrender his rights? He has been on Facebook since I sent that, but has not replied. I knew he wouldn’t.
I also looked into a change of venue for our case. It’s quite confusing, as we are a military family. New Hampshire assumes jurisdiction because that is where the original case was filed in 2006. But we have not lived in the state or the county of the courthouse for three years. Bio-dad no longer lives in the county of the courthouse either, and I think that is grounds for changing venue, though I am unsure. I’m going to talk to JAG tomorrow I think, they only discuss family law issues on Thursdays. They may not be able to prepare the paperwork for me because bio-dad does not consent, but they will give me plenty of legal advice.
Matthew attended the after-school young author workshop. He has to write a “book”, complete with author page, title page, cover, dedication, etc. I asked him what he is writing about? He said “Why I wish my stepdad was my dad.”
He has been working so hard on that story. I am not allowed to help him. I am only allowed to help put the book together and edit spelling mistakes.
Last night I told him if that is really what he wished we would do our best to make it happen.
I have never felt so determined to do anything in my life. Now is not the time for their father to underestimate the things I will do for my children. There is nothing I wouldn’t do. Matthew wants Bryan to be his dad, now it’s our job to make sure that happens, and we will make it happen.
He brought this on himself. There is nobody to blame but himself.
It is so sad and hard on the children. I know it has to be harder on you.
Vent away
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