I called the court this morning to make sure they received my paperwork and to ask how long it would take to receive a court date for a hearing.
The woman told me they received the paperwork, some of it is being mailed back to me because it is considered “exhibits” and that it would take approximately six weeks to receive a court date. She said that SD would have to come to the courthouse to pick up copies of the paperwork and if he did not do so I would have to pay to have him served by a Sheriff.
It was a very short conversation, but it did leave me feeling…. deflated, I guess is a good word. I don’t know why such a short conversation would leave me feeling so helpless and hopeless but it did.
And now I am second-guessing myself thinking I should never have mailed in that paperwork to begin with. I should have just left it alone. I am imagining worse-case scenarios and they are pretty bad. Then I think I should call back and tell her I want to drop the motion for contempt and just file the change of custody? But it’s really too late because she is already filing everything… I think.
I don’t know.
This is what I do know:
January 2011 – No contact
February 8, 2011 – Gillian mailed a card to SD
February 24, 2011 – Gillian received a thank you letter in the mail from SD. Matthew did not receive anything from SD and was upset about it.
March 11, 2011 – Gillian emailed SD. (6/18/11 still no reply from SD)
April 16, 2011 – Found SD’s cell phone on myspace. Called him. Left message asking to him to please call me, it is important. Gillian needs glasses. (5/9/11 SD has never called back)
May 7, 2011 – Matthew emailed SD. Matthew has not received an email back from SD.
May 28, 2011 – Gillian’s birthday. No contact at all. (6/18/11 still no contact from SD)
June 19, 2011 – Gillian messaged SD, said Happy Father’s Day. SD said thanks. End of conversation
June 25, 2011 – Gillian messaged SD. They had a brief conversation.
June 26, 2011 – Matthew sent SD a message. SD never replied back.
July 15, 2011 – Gillian messaged SD telling him happy birthday on 7/8. He said thank you on July 15.
September 23, 2011 – SD sent Gillian a message asking how are you? Gillian replied on October 7, said “good”. End of conversation.
October 24, 2011 – SD called and asked if he could drive down and visit the kids. I told him yes. He spoke to Gillian and Matthew on the phone. He is supposed to call back in November to set a date for him to visit.
November 2011 – No contact.
December 2, 2011 – I tried calling SD regarding Matthew’s birthday, child support. No answer.
Received a friend request from SD on Facebook. I did not accept. Sent message asking why he is inconsistent in contacting the kids, told him he should call every weekend, he is being unfair to the kids. Told him I am still upset about Matthew’s surgery.
December 5, 2011 – I tried calling SD. No answer, went straight to voicemail. Will send him a copy of Gillian’s dental bill when I receive it.
December 7, 2011 – Called SD. Left message reminding him about previous medical costs and that he still has not paid. Informed him of Gillian’s cavity, Matthew’s two cavities and Gillian’s referral to an orthodontist.
December 12, 2011 – Mailed SD the kids school pictures.
December 25, 2011 – No contact
December 27, 2011 – Mailed court paperwork certified mail.
Of the 365 days in the year 2011 SD spoke to and/or contacted his children SIX TIMES…. six very brief times.
So why do I feel like the court is going to make it very hard for me to get sole custody of the children that I would give my life for and SD can’t even bother to remember exist?
I just don’t get it…
I am not sure what answer you are looking for. I mean I know what you are wanting. My mother had to go through this before marrying my father when I was 10 because the loser that knocked her up wasnt a good piece of trash. My dad now is the best in the world, so I know what you want.
Im not sure if you want the comforting answer to make you feel better or if you want to be told to quit crying about it and let it happen. Good things take time. LEt it happen. It may take months to a year or so, but just remember that when it does happen you and the husband will have the kids for the rest of your life. Forever. I support you. I feel for you.
No Smoking.
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